Lilac Sky and Red Rose

usai hari itu, aku merasakan hatiku gelisah. sejak sore ini, aku tak bisa berhenti tersenyum. bylilacrose // Pergi dan Kembali

Apakah kau pemilik hati ataukah ini hanya kesendirianku yang meradang mendambakan kehadiran. Telah lama sendiri dalam diam, dia yang datang dengan tangan seolah cahaya, ku coba menarik diri dari nestapa. Nyatanya mungkin tak harus dia, yang membuat simpul dari serabut kelapa, membunyikan lonceng, menyingkirkan penat. bylilacrose // Kesendirianku yang Bergejolak

Saat aku terdiam, berdua di hadapanmu, pikiranku melayang jauh, hatiku meradang penuh, membayangkan hangatnya dekapanmu atau sekedar bagaimana tanganku layak dalam genggamanmu dan sepatah kata milikmu keluar dari ucapanku. bylilacrose // Yang Tak Bisa Ku Kendalikan

Sore itu di Stasiun Senayan aku menunggu hadirnya yang lama tak kujumpa. Sempat hati berpikir, mungkinkah dia sang pemilik hati ataukah rasa ini hanya fana dan kebahagiaan sesaat. bylilacrose // Sesaat

Hati ini miliknya, aku tersakiti untuknya di atas kerikil yang melepuh di tengah hari,  kucoba meraihnya luka di telapak kaki tak terasa, darah telah bercucuran. Hati ini miliknya, aku terbakar untuknya di tengah kencangnya angin dari badai hatimu yang dingin, kucoba pertahankan api kecil dari batang korek yang kunyalakan sendiri hingga habis dan menghitam, yang kemudian kupatahkan tanganku dan kakiku dan sekujur tubuhku agar apinya tetap menyala. Kini hanya hatiku yang tersisa,  ketakutanku akan kepergianmu yang mencari kehangatan baru membuatku mematahkan hatiku sendiri demi kamu yang tinggal sejenak. ketika kau pergi dan tak ada yang tersisa dari diri aku sadar aku telah merindukan dirimu jauh sebelum ragamu benar - benar hilang  meninggalkan kesunyian yang begitu terasa dan segala rasa yang aku sudah biasa bylilacrose // Terbiasa

you took me with you as I bloomed for you and for the love of us I stood tall, yet you watched me as I die the colors of my leaves turned into the shades of sky at dawn  but you still wouldn't let my petal fall, so you kept me close till they went dry bylilacrose // the Dried Flower 2

you can keep me with you,  for as long as you want me to but you won't have me as whole, not anymore because all my petals have gone dry and they would fall soon, you should've loved me when I was a full bloom bylilacrose // Full Bloom

As the tip of my pen scratched this paper, as it danced to the sweet melody called your name, that was when I realized that I would never stop because as I began writing about you, I began to fall for you bylilacrose // the Tip of My Pen

di Jalan Asia Afrika aku berjalan kudengar deringmu di tengah keramaian di atas seutas tali ketidak-pastian aku berjalan menyusuri bayanganmyu menuju cahaya tak bermakna kemana aku harus melangkah bayangan tanganmu masih kugenggam, sedang tanganku yang lain mencoba meraih cahaya yang jauh di sana kemana aku harus melangkah di mana hati harus aku tetapkan ataukan lebih baik aku loncat saja bylilacrose //  di Jalan Asia Afrika

I want to write out all the words that are stuck in my chest they metastasized to my brain and made it clenched every time that your name was present I miss you x I miss you x I miss you x I tried to cough them off but they are not sputum clogging up my airway, it's a fucking cancer, T1N3M1 stage at that. bylilacrose //  Malignancy

In a place where the lights were on and the people were chattering and the sound of the claw cranes over there was beaten by the sound of a racing game that a boy just put his last coin into I usually pour down my tears in a locked pitch black room at 3 am so I did not know what to do when a thought of you started to cry under my skin-where your hands used to be, now that are long gone. I was not prepared, for fuck's sake I just wanted to eat my Big Mac. bylilacrose //  at McDonald's that One Afternoon

I feel suffocated, every breath that I take feels like a privilege and the life that this body-that I keep on destroying- lives is a luxury I do not deserve. I want to run, hide, disappear, but the white coat that embraces my body keeps my feet frozen, arms still, and mouth shut. I'm walking on a tight rope while the loads of the people's hope on my shoulders keep on getting heavier. Should I go on or should I go back, should I set my wings free or should I look through their windows of souls and watch them break my wings while I, too, am tearing them apart. bylilacrose // the White Coat

Save me from myself, from my shadow, and from the voices shouting in my head. It's so silent here you'd go deaf, so dark you'd go blind. I could never find myself in the crowd and don't tell me that I should try and force myself out there, because I have, but all it got me was emptiness. But I don't want to be alone, I don't trust myself when I'm on my own. The demon is getting stronger now that they have left and the only strength I get it from myself. But I can only do so much... I just want to let the demon to take the wheel and give myself to him. And the day that I finally decided to do it, that's when you know that I have given up. I have given up on myself, my dreams, my life, everything. bylilacrose // Save Me

the bitterness of the coffee tastes sweet in the corner of your lips bylilacrose // Sweet Coffee

ingin ku pergi meskipun hanya fana di dalam mimpi bylilacrose // Kepergian yang Fana

biarlah saja jika ini jalannya aku tlah rela bylilacrose // Jalannya

tlah kusadari akan rasa di hati inginkan kamu bylilacrose //  Menginginkanmu

tak kusadari  hati kan merindukan  kau yang pergi bylilacrose // Kau yang Pergi

hati meluap memendam perasaan tak tersampaikan bylilacrose // Tentang Perasaan

dan kau pun pergi membawa benih rasa tak sempat tumbuh bylilacrose // Mati Sebelum Mekar

VERSE 1 you said you were lonely but baby I'm right here so take my hand and let's be free in the galaxy where we're meant to be PRE-CHORUS I know you don't wanna hear it so at least in my dream just let me be CHORUS and every time I sit there in your office listening to lover boy that you put on repeat I wish you knew just how badly I want you to be my lover boy 'cuz I want you to take me away oh sun ray VERSE 2 your smile, your stupid face hate it that I found them oh so charming I just wish that I could kiss them silly like this feeling PRE-CHORUS I know you don't wanna hear it so at least in my dream just let me be CHORUS and every time I sit there in your office listening to lover boy that you put on repeat I wish you knew just how badly I want you to be my lover boy 'cuz I want you to take me away oh sun ray BRIDGE because since that night in my car where we sang our hearts out loud looked into your eyes and I reali...

VERSE 1 you said you were lonely but baby I'm right here so take my hand and let's be free in the galaxy where we're meant to be CHORUS and every time I sit there in your office listening to lover boy that you put on repeat I wish you knew just how badly I want you to be my lover boy 'cuz I want you to take me away oh sun ray VERSE 2 your smile, your stupid face hate it that I found them oh so charming I just wish that I could kiss them silly like this feeling CHORUS and every time I sit there in your office listening to lover boy that you put on repeat I wish you knew just how badly I want you to be my lover boy 'cuz I want you to take me away oh sun ray and every time I sit there in your office listening to lover boy that you put on repeat I wish you knew just how badly I want you to be my lover boy 'cuz I want you to take me away oh sun ray bylilacrose // (be my) Lover Boy

I fell so hard for you and I don't know if you were blind or simply oblivious, but I'm pretty sure I was really obvious. It was enough for me to love you, but you didn't even let me to. Now I'm standing over the edge with a bottle on my hand near empty and a dried flower that looks even more dead, as if trying to be there out of pity. "I am meant to be free, holding on to me and keeping me in a pretty little box won't change the fact that I am dead. Let me go." bylilacrose //  the Dried Flower